The Dress That Helped Me Hate My Body [TW: diet/fat shame]
This was one of those dresses you buy yourself when you want to reward yourself for your weight loss. You feel pretty. You feel desirable. You feel Worthy.
But what came with this dress was a visible belly outline. And with that visible belly outline came my first pair of Spanx. I’d worked so hard to lose this weight, I’d treated myself to this beautiful dress, and now I had to hide the body that I was so ‘proud’ of.
I wore this dress to my work Christmas party, and the entire night I felt self conscious of my belly. I didn’t want to sit down. I was the fattest girl there. Everyone was looking at me. All they saw was this huge belly protruding.
When I came across this dress in my closet today, 200lb Kyla’s heart broke for 170lb Kyla. I felt all the feelings I felt the day I bought this dress. And I promise I will never, ever allow myself to feel like that again. Even when it’s hard, I will love my body. Especially my VBO. <3